Expectation VS Reality: A Love Letter

A photo of Pat at her nail desk Hi everyone!

First things first, I just slipped on water and now a vein in my wrist is big and black and hard? She’ll be right. Actually, I write this on a Monday and send it on a Tuesday so by the time you’re reading this, it’s fine. But right now, it hurts haha

So I have a story for you about our darling Pat and it has a moral that I think is worth sharing. I’ve checked with Pat and she gives the a-ok for me to share and you to enjoy.

Pat is extremely aware of her flaws and so are we. I originally hired her to run our podcast, organise everything, get guests, schedule recordings, do the edits – get it back up and running. That was around May last year.

Pat didn’t reply to emails for weeks at a time despite talking to me every day in other capacities and being super excited for the project (bringing back the Podcast was HER idea after all) and the relaunch date came and went. Several months later, I sorted it myself. She was rostered on the first episode and slept through recording. She woke up for the second one though.

Is this email just about how shit Pat is? HELL NAW.

Pat is an extremely valuable team member who we love to the moon and back.

Pat is the ultimate hype woman (that typo-d as ‘hyper woman’ at first and like, not wrong haha). Pat is a genie that overflows with ideas. She has no fear when it comes to sharing them. Some are outlandish (all of us Mentors do not want to wear tiaras to identify us at Summit, Pat). Some are inspiring – Summit 2024 honestly wouldn’t be happening if it weren’t for something Pat said, and her matching my energy as I threw it together and got tickets sellable within 48 hours of the idea (we had close to 20 registrations before I remembered to tell Carl about it).

So what is the moral of the story?

Everyone doesn’t have to be everything. Or, be punished for their lack of everythingness. YOU do not have to be everything or be perfect at everything.

I will never ever put Pat in charge of something with a deadline or something that has to be done a certain way. I will always factor in time for her to be late when I need her. If I don’t make these allowances – if I expect her to be on time, I WILL end up mad at her because she will NOT meet those expectations. But she has never set any other precedent.

So actually those emotions are on me.

I can choose to just not work with her, and avoid all those frustrations altogether. But then I lose out on the ideas, the content creation, the energy, the questions she contributes that no one else thinks of. Ultimately, I lose.

So instead of forcing Pat into a box that she doesn’t fit and getting mad about it.

I make Pat-shaped boxes.

My question for you this week is – are you in the right shaped box?!

This is what else we loved last week –

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